SNOW, COCOA & CHRISTMAS

Snow falls

The last of the day is upon us

We wait for the sound of silence enveloping the house

I am glad we are safe

Snuggled under blankets

Our mugs of hot cocoa tight within our fists

We live like kings inside this place with four walls

My eyes close as I listen to the children play

They laugh and giggle about ponies, cars, and fire trucks

A doll slips between the legs of the coffee table

And my little ones think it is the most hilarious thing ever

Maggie smiles and teases her brother,

Give back; he says when she makes a grab for a shiny blue sports car

It’s mine; Maggie says and runs off down the hall

For a moment our peace is shattered

The dog runs after them eager for the prance

I stare into the fire

It roars like a boiling kettle and sizzles like spit on asphalt

My husband nods

He is long since awake

But no matter

For here I am

One with the others

Separate

Yet together

Safe

Loved

Happy

Content to be still on a night of stillness

despite the commotion beyond

Suddenly I realize

not every place gives you that.  

                                                **

A calliope of music descends from the next room

the radio screams hip, hop, rock and roll

My son is growing

way past the age of helping him tie his shoe laces and fixing his hair

He waves past me like I'm not even there

But today he is here

Barraging me with tunes I can't stand, much less understand

I want to scream to him, Shut it off

Then I remember that soon he too will be gone

Gone from this house

Living on his own

Forging his way in this world of loud beats and hammering messages

I uncover my heart and listen to my son

singing like a future rocker

and contemplate my life

soon

without him

the words of his music

now full of memories I will tuck somewhere safe

for the day it's only me

and my coffee

and my melodies of old.